It’s very true. I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten much better. Though I remember even female executives (probably mimicking their male bosses) doing this with male underlings. Not on the level women get it or even close but it’s weird how power can change how people act. You think oh Hollywood is so liberal that this stuff isn’t relevant anymore and that’s probably a bigger problem in other conservative industries but it’s not. I mean I’m sure those have it too but Hollywood is up there. I remember every office I went to for prodcos or agencies would always have attractive females up front in the assistant role and much less attractive men in the back in executive roles. Typical though you go back ten years later and whoever was in the front graduates to the back, but I still go to the offices and it’s different attractive people up front and the same ugly guys in the back!
So exactly right. Used to be that way in the newsroom at the large newspaper I worked for. Then, after I left, it wasn't. Then there were no more newspapers.
WOW, this is so real. I’m still in the “you’re so cute” phase (SR asst) and you’re completely right, it makes higher-ups drop their guard which has been really beneficial. And it’s so validating to hear that other women in the industry have done the same. But this is such a sobering reminder that I can’t rely on that as the foundation of my career. Thanks for sharing this <3
Look, it’s a weird superpower. Use it to learn everything you need to be a Boss. A lot of those guys will even let you shadow on set, watch editing, read drafts, just because they don’t perceive you as a threat. You got this!
This is a brilliant, sharp-elbowed reminder that being 'lady-like' is mostly just a trap designed to keep you quiet while everyone else talks. Such a good piece Dara.
This all just sucks. And as far as I could tell, it was the same in my field (tech) back when I was working, and it probably still is. I'm sorry I couldn't fix it (and I certainly should have tried more to do so).
I am new to the world of Hollywood, but can tell you that as a high school teacher for 30 years—SAME! Okay, not the hot tub parties and such, but the entire meeting thing is so real. If I spoke up…crickets or I was seen as difficult. If my male colleague said the exact same thing? Brilliant! I once had to go toe to toe with another teacher over scheduling minutiae for a YEAR because he would not listen to me as a female department head. I kept receipts (emails) and was ready to finally f’n go to HR with a formal complaint when I tried one last department meeting. Surprise, surprise…my male colleague offered the exact same solution I had been saying/emailing for 9 months and miraculously the problem was solved. Thank you for writing about this reality. As the Witches of Scotland say (look them up-two kick ass ladies doing amazing things to honor the murder of almost 4,000 women)…anyway, as they say, ‘stay quarrelsome’!!!
It’s very true. I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten much better. Though I remember even female executives (probably mimicking their male bosses) doing this with male underlings. Not on the level women get it or even close but it’s weird how power can change how people act. You think oh Hollywood is so liberal that this stuff isn’t relevant anymore and that’s probably a bigger problem in other conservative industries but it’s not. I mean I’m sure those have it too but Hollywood is up there. I remember every office I went to for prodcos or agencies would always have attractive females up front in the assistant role and much less attractive men in the back in executive roles. Typical though you go back ten years later and whoever was in the front graduates to the back, but I still go to the offices and it’s different attractive people up front and the same ugly guys in the back!
So exactly right. Used to be that way in the newsroom at the large newspaper I worked for. Then, after I left, it wasn't. Then there were no more newspapers.
WOW, this is so real. I’m still in the “you’re so cute” phase (SR asst) and you’re completely right, it makes higher-ups drop their guard which has been really beneficial. And it’s so validating to hear that other women in the industry have done the same. But this is such a sobering reminder that I can’t rely on that as the foundation of my career. Thanks for sharing this <3
Look, it’s a weird superpower. Use it to learn everything you need to be a Boss. A lot of those guys will even let you shadow on set, watch editing, read drafts, just because they don’t perceive you as a threat. You got this!
This is a brilliant, sharp-elbowed reminder that being 'lady-like' is mostly just a trap designed to keep you quiet while everyone else talks. Such a good piece Dara.
🙏🙏
This all just sucks. And as far as I could tell, it was the same in my field (tech) back when I was working, and it probably still is. I'm sorry I couldn't fix it (and I certainly should have tried more to do so).
We love the allies. Thank YOU for validating and caring!
As a ‘female director’ (really , I’m just a director!!) I totally get everything you’ve written here!!
I am new to the world of Hollywood, but can tell you that as a high school teacher for 30 years—SAME! Okay, not the hot tub parties and such, but the entire meeting thing is so real. If I spoke up…crickets or I was seen as difficult. If my male colleague said the exact same thing? Brilliant! I once had to go toe to toe with another teacher over scheduling minutiae for a YEAR because he would not listen to me as a female department head. I kept receipts (emails) and was ready to finally f’n go to HR with a formal complaint when I tried one last department meeting. Surprise, surprise…my male colleague offered the exact same solution I had been saying/emailing for 9 months and miraculously the problem was solved. Thank you for writing about this reality. As the Witches of Scotland say (look them up-two kick ass ladies doing amazing things to honor the murder of almost 4,000 women)…anyway, as they say, ‘stay quarrelsome’!!!
Ugggghhh....WHY must talented writers like yourself use "cis?" Can EVERYONE just STOP!? ONLY TWO GENDERS TWO SEXES... that's it!
You are, scientifically, wrong about that.